I have often wondered to myself, am I the only woman who is scared of staying at home alone at night?
For some bizarre reason, I get really scared at home alone at night, I don't know why. I trained really hard a couple of nights a week for 6 years doing karate, I know I am strong for a woman, I was put into the seniors class to train with mainly men as I was the highest graded woman from our dojo. I feel that I could protect myself somewhat if I was attacked - we were taught how to kill a person with our hands if it really came down to it - something I don't know that I could do even put in a serious situation and something upon reflection, I don't know that it should have been taught to us. This was a dojo that did not hand out karate belts to just anyone, we were made to work very hard for them and had to have a certain amount of training to be able to go to the next grading. I myself, after 6 years stopped training after receiving my purple belt as I moved away from the area and never got back into it. (Belt order was white, red, yellow, orange, green, blue, purple, brown, black.)
I don't think I could handle it if my husband had to go away on business trips or spent a lot of time away from home at night for whatever other reason - I can hardly sleep with him in hospital for a few nights! Last night I went to bed late so I would be tired and fall straight to sleep... that part worked pretty well, but I woke up pretty much every hour. Maybe I read to many true crime books?! I don't know what it is, but I know my heart rate is constantly faster than normal and I constantly feel nervous that someone is around - I know it sounds ridiculous.
Well, I suppose I only have a couple of nights to go and he will be back again and I won't feel so insecure! All his test results have come back showing no problems so far, which is very good news!
.... Just another day ....