Monday, 7 May 2007
Just a couple of photos I took while I was out on Sunday, they are of the dam and bridge out the front of my neighbours house.
It is my Dad's birthday today, he is 65 years old. I called him on the phone last night to wish him a happy birthday for today.
Just thinking about him makes me feel really sad. You see, we have quite a few issues - this is the shortened version. I am an only child, Dad didn't spend much time with me when I was young. Now that I am older, I don't 'blame' him in any way - he worked two jobs, one at night and one during the day so I only saw him for about an hour per day. He didn't work so much because he liked it - it was only for my Mum and I, to support us.
When I was a teenager my parents seperated and got back together numerous times. Family life over those years is quite a blur. There is one occassion though that I remember very clearly. When I was 16 years old, I remember laying in bed listening to my parents argue. It was durning that arguement I discovered my Dad was not my biological Father. I couldn't believe it - it felt like some horrible nightmare. It had been kept from me for all those years, I felt betrayed. He may not be my biological father, but to me, he is my 'real' father - he fed me, clothed me, loved me and protected me - that is a real father.
A few years later, Mum and Dad had sorted their problems out and were very happy together at last when suddenly my Mum became sick with Cancer and passed away after battling the disease for 6 months. So, then it was just Dad and I. Basically since then (9 years ago) we have not seen eye to eye. I was 21 when I moved to sydney to live with Aaron a few months after Mum died.
Dad sold our house, he wouldn't let Aaron and I buy him out (I was on the title of the house along with both my parents names) nor did he want to give me my share of the remaining money from the sale let alone any of my Mums share. He then moved in with his new girlfriend and 6 months later he was getting married again.
His wife doesn't like me and I have made no secret of the fact the feeling is mutural. She has made me feel very uncomfortable when ever I call my Dad and just recently didn't bother to pass on the message that I had rung to tell him Amber had just come home from hospital after her heart surgery. That is just the tip of the iceburg. There are lots of nasty little things that go along with her, but I won't go into them right now.
Out of the four grandparents my children should have Dad is the only one still alive and yet has no time for my kids whatsoever. He never calls, never visits, never even sends a birthday card for them - it is quite pathetic really. He has never even seen Ruby, he saw Amber when she was about 6 weeks old - that is more than 5 years ago. He just doen't care at all anymore. My Grandparents (my Mums parents) are horrified as would Mum be if she was alive. I hope my relationship with my children never ends up like the one between my father and I.
Anyway, I just want to say, I know you don't read this Dad and even though you don't care about us anymore, behind my anger, I really do care and your attitude and actions are breaking my heart.... Happy Birthday....
.... Just another day ....