Monday, 7 May 2007

Happy Birthday...





Just a couple of photos I took while I was out on Sunday, they are of the dam and bridge out the front of my neighbours house.

It is my Dad's birthday today, he is 65 years old. I called him on the phone last night to wish him a happy birthday for today.

Just thinking about him makes me feel really sad. You see, we have quite a few issues - this is the shortened version. I am an only child, Dad didn't spend much time with me when I was young. Now that I am older, I don't 'blame' him in any way - he worked two jobs, one at night and one during the day so I only saw him for about an hour per day. He didn't work so much because he liked it - it was only for my Mum and I, to support us.

When I was a teenager my parents seperated and got back together numerous times. Family life over those years is quite a blur. There is one occassion though that I remember very clearly. When I was 16 years old, I remember laying in bed listening to my parents argue. It was durning that arguement I discovered my Dad was not my biological Father. I couldn't believe it - it felt like some horrible nightmare. It had been kept from me for all those years, I felt betrayed. He may not be my biological father, but to me, he is my 'real' father - he fed me, clothed me, loved me and protected me - that is a real father.

A few years later, Mum and Dad had sorted their problems out and were very happy together at last when suddenly my Mum became sick with Cancer and passed away after battling the disease for 6 months. So, then it was just Dad and I. Basically since then (9 years ago) we have not seen eye to eye. I was 21 when I moved to sydney to live with Aaron a few months after Mum died.

Dad sold our house, he wouldn't let Aaron and I buy him out (I was on the title of the house along with both my parents names) nor did he want to give me my share of the remaining money from the sale let alone any of my Mums share. He then moved in with his new girlfriend and 6 months later he was getting married again.

His wife doesn't like me and I have made no secret of the fact the feeling is mutural. She has made me feel very uncomfortable when ever I call my Dad and just recently didn't bother to pass on the message that I had rung to tell him Amber had just come home from hospital after her heart surgery. That is just the tip of the iceburg. There are lots of nasty little things that go along with her, but I won't go into them right now.

Out of the four grandparents my children should have Dad is the only one still alive and yet has no time for my kids whatsoever. He never calls, never visits, never even sends a birthday card for them - it is quite pathetic really. He has never even seen Ruby, he saw Amber when she was about 6 weeks old - that is more than 5 years ago. He just doen't care at all anymore. My Grandparents (my Mums parents) are horrified as would Mum be if she was alive. I hope my relationship with my children never ends up like the one between my father and I.

Anyway, I just want to say, I know you don't read this Dad and even though you don't care about us anymore, behind my anger, I really do care and your attitude and actions are breaking my heart.... Happy Birthday....


.... Just another day ....

9 comments:

Tamara said...

Wow.

That was honest, and sincere. Our parents, in general, really mess up don't they. It's hard and heartbreaking. I think you dealing with it and talking about it is a beautiful thing. Trust me, my family has many follies too. Though, I'm not as brave as you to post them.

So...if it's any consolation, my birthday is today too, so celebrate that! :)

Tamara said...

Wait, my birthday is May 6th...time differences here.

Baleboosteh said...

Happy Birthday Tamara! I hope you have a great day! :D

I think almost all parents mess up in some way, shape or form - thats life, and we learn from mistakes.

Scraps said...

That is very sad. I will never understand parents who can turn on their children like that. :(

frumhouse said...

That's rough. I have similar Dad issues too - mom taken by cancer, Dad remarried to a woman who is happy to have me and mine out of the picture, oy! Men can be so stupid!

Baleboosteh said...

Scraps, as hard as I have tried, I can not understand it either. How can you just shut someone out of your life after 21 years?

Frumhouse, it seems that it is very common - I know of a few people who have been throught the exact same thing. It is so hard to understand. I just wish he was more interested in the girls - they have no grandparents.

RaggedyMom said...

Your relationship with your dad sounds challenging and complicated. Acknowleding his birthday altogether must be rough. Kudos to you for having some kind thoughts in all this.

muse said...

poor thing

Do the proper thing, which is good for the kids to see.

But then go foward. Be thankful for what you have and don't look back. You can't change him.

Baleboosteh said...

Raggedy, it is kind of, but I would like it to be one way or the other - regular contact or no contact, I find the inconsistency had to deal with.

Muse, unfortunatly the kids wouldn't know who he was if they saw him. I feel quite sad about that.